Weekend!

                       What about now?

                      Well..I'm staying here, thinking about me and my life. What about now? What's love? I'm still that person who loves you? But..have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses , you build up a whole suit of armour, so that nothing can hurt you, the one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life..You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day , like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in darkness , so simple a phrase like " Maybe we should be just friends" turns into glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. And maybe i hate love...But without love, i'm not a human. 

 I don't know what i can do right now but i say that i will wait ..and i don't know...>.>  I'd like to stay or lay with him and ..Eh..Nothing can gets in their way, they are strong, they are they.And I'm still trying to feel like i'm a good person and he can loves a girl like me..Maybe not, but..:-?? I'm happy for everything will be. ^-^ 

                    Maybe he wants to stay with ppl like him and doesn't mind if in the future I'll say "Heya..How are you" He'll answer like nothing happend. But what the fuck? It's his life and it's my life.  I want to know you're happy with me or without me. I understand you can do it. And doesn't matter what will be. We are good people and we are perfect in the way we are. Fucking perfect..^-^ 

...-The end of the transmission-...

   8:03p.m